How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
