Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
