Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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