I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
