She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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