last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
