Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
