I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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