I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
