why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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