Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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