Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Randomize
