I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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