A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
