I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
