Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
