Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
