let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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