WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
