ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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