the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need to align my fucking chakras
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
