doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
