I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
