i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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