please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
