whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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