absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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