In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
