Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
where does the pee come out of this thing
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
