all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
