I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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