I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
