I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
