Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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