your parents love me but you hate me
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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