dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
