I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
