Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
