Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The air was thick with penises
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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