Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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