If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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