So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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