how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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