I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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