You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
