he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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