But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Boobs are out for the taking
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
