I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
