so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
