I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
