I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
