I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
