I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
