'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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