I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
