someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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