I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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