And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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