Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I looked at my own cervix.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
